Where I'm At Now With My Mental Health

So I went and got help, that happened. I knew that something needed to change. I want to do a post later on speaking up but for now let's focus on what's changed. Mentally a lot has been going on, I went on holiday for a bit and tried to have a break mentally. I felt so good about everything and met some amazing people who have helped me along the way. But I knew something had to change, I couldn't shake the cloud that was over me. I felt fine majority of the time but there was something that just wouldn't go. It was like an overload of emotions that would bring me down to my lowest and least confident self.

I went to my GP after battling years of talking to them, I received medication but i wanted something more. I managed to get on board with a program that is an online anxiety course and I've noticed a difference in myself already. I really struggle to shut everything off and have time to myself, as someone who is doing several things at once all the time and constantly being online I didn't realise how much time I have for me. More so the lack of time.

I decided to dedicate at least 5 minutes everyday for me time, I normally go onto headspace and put on some mindfulness stuff and relax for a bit. It's good to take time for yourself and shut off from the world. As someone who spends days and minutes of my life on social media and on the blog I knew it was time to take some out.

I don't think I'd ever want to take a full on break, for me that seems quite overwhelming to spend time away and come back knowing that all the attention would flood back to me when I return. The course lasts for 7 weeks and it's taught me a lot of about mindfulness and how I see situations. Throughout the course I will learn more and more about how to deal with everything.

There's still opportunity to talk and for me I feel like there's a lot i want to talk about. It's a conflict between wanting to tell people and get it out but not feeling like a burden because it all comes out at once. I'm getting better at processing everything but for now it's a good bit of progress.

Speaking up was one of the best decisions I made. It allowed me to feel less alone about everything. So many people speak up about mental health issues but you don't really find many people talking about it. It's time I didn't feel guilty about opening up to people, I spend so much time being there for people and it\s time to do something for myself for once.

Overall, I'm in a better place I feel more confident as a person and in my ability to speak up but I'm not fully there yet. I can see clear progress and i genuinely feel happier in myself but there is a lot of change that needs to happen. There are more realistic goals that I can see happening.

If you are interested in a more in-depth talk about my mental health treatments and what I've been using more to help I'll be doing a follow up post soon

Until next time, Chloe!

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