The Confessions Of A Final Year Student

It's finally the end, well almost not quite but apart from the looming exams I'm getting towards the end and it feels so good. Everyone always says that the stretch between exams and your dissertation is hell on Earth, I didn't think this would be the case at all but I can vouch for everyone and say that it's the most intense time of my whole degree. I started the final year feeling great and confident and I was slowly met with the rude awakening of pressure, I feel like the pressure stems into three main areas. 

1. Career: If I had a pound for every time I panicked about what I was going to do afterwards I would actually be rich, I am a known worrier and it was difficult for me to not feel like my life was falling apart when I initially started applying for jobs. Getting the rejection email always got to me and I found myself feeling so low that I struggled to feel like I was ever going to get anywhere. I'd heard a lot of people say that I'll find one when the time is right and everything will work out and I wish I had taken this advice and calmed the hell down. I felt like I needed to have my whole career plan sorted by the 4th week and in hindsight, I'm glad I didn't. 

I feel like my career path isn't fully decided, I felt like I needed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life but it's unfair to put that pressure on myself and my opinion will always change. For me as long as I am enjoying what I currently do, am happy to figure the rest out over time. I think I learnt a lot from the application process and getting my cv looking all nice. But I think there's a beauty in being rejected for a role because you'll find the job that's right for you eventually. 

2. Grade: I had a pretty shite second year and I don't think I've really spoken about it on here. To spare you the details I had some pretty bad stuff happen in my life and it made my academic progress dip massively, now I am in a better place but I just have more pressure on me to do well and make up for the grades. At the beginning of the year, I had this overwhelming fear and pressure that I had to do well otherwise it was the end of the world, but I took a step back and accepted my grade for what it is. I may not come out with a 2:1 but whatever grade I get I know I got it through doing the best I could in consideration of the circumstances. It's not ideal but I feel like I've dealt with the situation pretty well. 

3. Mental Health: Generally I've felt pretty good mentally. It's been a hard couple of weeks with dissertation hand ins and this and that but for the most part, it's felt pretty good to just know that it's almost all over. I think as uni draws to a close that's been the main thing that's been on my mind. You get comfortable and it can be hard to break out of this and picture your life without 6 lectures and about 40 assignments. 

But on the plus side to this, I feel like I've learnt a lot throughout my degree, not just about the discipline of Psychology but also about myself. I hate to say the whole oh I've 'found myself' but I do generally feel like throughout it all I have a clearer understanding of myself, University gave me the time to be mature and to get my life in check. I don't think we're maybe fully there yet but I've learnt a lot and my confidence has skyrocketed. The girl that was too anxious to go and do stuff on her own will now face anything by herself and it feels great to finally be there. 

I'm excited to see what happens now and where it all leads to but most importantly I get to close the chapter on my University life and it feels amazing to do so

Until next time, Chloe! 

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