Let's Talk About Sex

Sex should be an experience you enjoy, your first time can be daunting. With a lot of anxiety stirring up it's good to have an insight into what might happen. When you feel like you are ready to have sex it's important to understand the basics, ensuring their consent with those involved and you're staying protected. To prepare you for your first time here are some of the things to know before you have sex for the first time.

First off, it's essential to understand it's not like in porn. You can't expect it to feel like a scene out of porn or fifty shades of grey. But this doesn't mean sex can be boring, you can introduce sex toys and role play and even play with positions. When it's your first time, however, try and keep it as natural as it feels. It's good to start with the basics and allow you and the other person to work out what feels good, you don't want to be bringing other stuff into the bedroom without having an idea of what feels good.

Before you have sex it's good to be open-minded, it may not be an amazing experience on the first try, you're discovering what gives you pleasure and for a lot of people, this can take time. I remember there being this big deal about your first time, it had to be amazing and I felt so discouraged when I didn't fully experience this amazing sensation. It's good to ignore the rumors and the schoolgirl tales, they generally come from those inexperienced who's sexual experience will be different to everyone else's.

The experience can be different depending on the person, it took me a while to figure this out. I thought sex would be similar depending on the person. From positions to control we all prefer something that not everyone will. With some people, you may not feel any pleasure and that is okay, you won't climax with every experience or person you're with. You can't expect yourself to be friends with everyone so don't expect yourself to climax with every person.

Pain, there is definitely pain sometimes. A few ways to avoid this is by using lube and ensuring you take it slow and you are aroused for penetration. It can be painful if you are not aroused or lubed up and let me tell you that feeling stays with you for a while. It's not worth rushing to it if you are not ready, it will only become painful and can end up causing more issues than it's worth. If you do however end up in this situation make sure you go to the toilet straight after sex and ensure you try and wash down there, even if it's just with water it avoids any blood or other fluids hitting any open tears.

Peeing after sex is another major one to know about, you've probably heard it all before but it can help warn off any infections and it allows you to break for a minute. It's important to remember that if the experience feels like it isn't for you and now isn't the time to have sex then that is OKAY and you shouldn't feel bad for it. Sometimes it can be tricky to know when you're really ready and when your in the situation it may feel too much.

My best advice for your first time is to ensure it is with someone you trust, it doesn't necessarily have to be someone you're in a relationship with but at least someone who you feel comfortable around. If you don't feel like you can be comfortable with them the whole experience can be uncomfortable and awkward and doesn't make your first time that special anymore.

All in all, ignore the rumors and let your first time be a chance to explore and see what you like if it doesn't go amazingly then don't panic. Sex is something that should never be rushed and we should always go in open-minded.

Until next time, Chloe!

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  1. Definitely understand it shouldn't be rushed!

  2. What a brilliant open post! I love this

  3. I really wish people talked about sex more openly since it's a natural experince but instead it still feels like there's a lot of stigma around it and almost like you should be ashamed of it. This post is really helpful! Xx