It's Time To Start Letting Go

Life is a bit shite let's be honest, unthinkable things get throw our way to the point where it can become hard to cope. Whether it's deadlines, love, friendships, the next door neighbours dog or just whatever comes our way. It can be hard to manage with some of these situations and for me personally the people around me help me get through it. I've always been someone who just needs someone there, as independent as I try to be I've always wanted someone there to vent with and have a little bit of a shoulder to cry on. 

The toughest thing for me to learn is that sometimes you just have to let go, throughout the past year I've struggled to do it and the idea of it now still sets a rush of anxiety through me but it's time I took control, I've spent so long clinging onto friendships that didn't do me any good and it took a lot of time to take myself out of the situation and see what it really is. For me, a lot of what I need to work on surrounds taking myself out of the situation and washing the blame off me. 

I've spent so many years blaming myself for everything, in situations where I really wasn't in the wrong but I'd find a way to. In today's society with the rise of mental health chats and awareness I wanted to touch on this, for me, my mental health issues arise around myself. I'm critical of myself and I blame a lot of shit on myself which isn't the best thing to do. 

It's 2018 and I'm still out here putting all this pressure on myself that doesn't need to be here, I've spent nights crying my eyes out and skipping sleep because I've messed up on something that felt so important that in reality wasn't. I've spent weeks putting this stupid amount of pressure on myself to see myself crumble and struggle to cope. 

Sometimes I feel like an absolute failure because I haven't done something to the standard I was hoping for and it's time to learn that this is fine. If it doesn't go to plan then ah well we'll find another way. It's a hard pill to swallow but I know I can do it and this is a time for the change. 

Let me know down below if you relate to this kinda feeling, we shouldn't blame ourselves for every single thing that happens and I hope moving forward I start understanding not everything is my fault. 

Until next time, Chloe!

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