Here's Why Everyone Should Get The Choice

Choice, it's a simple thing when you break it down. It's your decision, impacts you or could impact others but most importantly it's yours. However, despite this there's a sudden decision to strip that choice away from people. If you've not been aware of the recent news, parts of America and Ireland are relentless to make Abortions illegal. The element of choice is being stripped from people, instead of leaving them with an ultimatum, risk their health and choose an unsafe procedure or be forced to continue a pregnancy and potentially raise a child they weren't prepared for. At first I didn't want to share my story, it felt hard to talk about it and as with some things in life there are just aspects of life we don't want to discuss. Whether that's just to friends or to an online audience where everyone feels the need to voice their opinions.

And although these opinions can turn negative and become a dangerous place to voice your opinion. They can also start a conversation, and the experiences you share may in fact help someone. With that belief rehearsed into my head, I am now sitting here ready to share my experience of having an abortion. At first, I thought I would spare the details but keeping it real is what allows everyone to understand your experience.

I had a medical abortion as I was too early in the pregnancy to have a surgical abortion. I was advised through bpas (British Pregnancy and Abortion Society) to take a few days off afterwards to rest. And god I wish I had really done this, the pain was unbearable at times. But what hurt me more was the flood of emotions afterwards, I was relieved more than anything that it was all over but it still can be quite emotional. I was informed about their aftercare support and I seeked this support about 3 months after the abortion. I felt weird for accessing this support, because I had no regrets for what I did. I just felt sad, I didn’t grow any attachment to it all yet it left me feeling so sad and empty. But over time I managed to get better, I can talk about it all without tearing up or getting emotional which was a major step forward for me. 

But can I just take a second here to thank the amazing people at bpas. They ensured the whole process was entirely my choice and I felt comfortable throughout, I honestly cannot thank them enough for what they do. 

When I reflect on the whole experience a year later it doesn’t properly hit me that I had my abortion over a year ago, the month of April was such a hard time for me. The anniversary was looming and it was a hard month overall the closer we got to it. The deadline of my dissertation fell close to the anniversary, and although it was hard to focus on everything in the present world and the past I managed to smash it. The one thing I took from everything that happened was perspective, I didn't realise how much life could go from good to the shittest it's ever been. From being at absolute rock bottom to realising how proud you are of yourself. God, I hate feeling 'proud' but to be fair to myself I went from barely passing the degree to averaging a high 2:1, getting a full-time job and in general learning to look after myself. I feel like a lot can happen in a year and for me it made me realise how much I can do. And also made me realise to not be dependent on others, which is a big thing for me it took a while for this to finally reach me but I managed to get there in the end and that's all that matters ay

But this wouldn't have been possible if I didn't get a choice to if I had continued the pregnancy my life would have been completely different. I could just about to provide for myself let alone a child, mentally I wouldn't have been in any right state and if this post does anything I at least want people to recognise that everyone should still be allowed the right to a choice. And there are ways to get involved in this, from emailing your local councils, to signing petitions, to attending events there are so many ways you can do it. And I wish I had taken action in fighting for the choice sooner, but am ready more than ever to do it!